Pancakes or Waffles Part 9

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh shit it is on.

The contender, going up against the great masturbating ape. The little guy. Baby bittle wittle bottle fossa! Bring it bitch! You trying to get at me? Huh? I will break you. You want puppy dog eyes? I tear that shit out and eat it whole.
Fuck a dog, kill a dog, shot gats at all dem other blogs. Bluck bluckbluck.
Anybody other than me seeing the slight downward tilt on the outside of his eyes. Desperation is how i read that, sweet lovable desperation.

And the crown-holding, cock-scolding, ass-reaming, brooklyn-steaming ape of rape. The clean sanchez. Raise the roof and praise the poof for the one the only bonobo.
He took took out the BIAT and I personally am P.O. Ticked, peaved miffed and downright angry. I could just......I could just .......hrumph.

Here's the little guy now. I wonder where his other hand is. Huh? Is his mom coaching him through a wank? I bet. He's looking up for some moral support and also some tit. Kinda biting his lip. Looks scared but excited all at the same time. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Who will ookie on the cookie. Fossa? Bonono? Well probably bonobo. But that's not what we're here for, we're her for pancakes or waffles and damnit we need votes.



nom de fbf

Hey kiddos,,
I knowI've been lazy and crazy and sleazy and leacherous. But here's some FBF for your mind one time for your mind.

Lots of big eyes coming in this week.

Valerie, the everloving valerie, gives us this bush baby.Puppy dog eyes with out all the puppy dog. Fucking sweet. Its like a fraken-little dude. He's kinda got a skunk stripe runnin down the back there. Ohhh, where's this going. Some kind of genetically engineered super dude.

Ahhhh tarsier, also from the val. She points out the preponderence of digits and rightly so may I add.First off what did I say about the eyes. Fucking uge. Second of all, what's up with those fucking eyes. I have trouble identifying colors and that one right there is completely uncategorizible as far as I'm concerned. Fuck it, I say brown.

Weeeeee little thing with big ass eyes. From Image_Shifter. Let's see, assume that this is an enormouse person with disproportionately large hands on which he has fingers that are abnormily enormous.
Even so, this thing would be about the size of a snow pea. I will now veer sharply from the culinary path and proceded directly to wondering if it can fly. It's a baby possum btw. They rule. If it could talk, it would say: "Good sir, I duely protest to this line of reasoning." and then it would bop you on the head with a can, the handle of which was an elephant head carved from sustainably harvested ivory.


go friday, it's your birthday

Degu. It means marble in mandarin. And it mean cat food in turkish.
These both came from Valerie. We know valerie.
It's like he's coming out of the fog to rescue me form some bender that has gone so badly that I think it's going well. He'll nurse me back to sobriety and sanity. This time's for real.

And sorry Image_Shifter but I'm invoking the "you can't monopolize all of FBF just because you have more free time than everybody else. So, you get at most 5 pictures unless there is a coherant theme that is interupted by omitting one or more of your pictures" rule.

Tapir. Unfortunately, no hands. But still gots to maintain that dental hygene right? I give you, the tapir toothbrush. Imagine how his ass shakes back and forth when he rubs his face on it. There's a center of gravity issue with the fact that his head is so big compared to his body. head goes left, body goes right, etc.. And his ass is pink. Hehe.

I think this is a pygmy loris. Not bad.

Uh doubleup uh uh. They come in pairs too.

In light of the recent bear monkey fiasco in Dutchland. I give you sloth bears.
Also the taint swangler. Turns out when they're babies, they actually cute and not flashing grundle or mauling some innocent primate. Who knew?
T.I.A.B Anybody? anybody? no?

Ok, never mind.

Pudu. You said it man. That animal isn't cute. Oh shit what's that hiding in between her legs.
Baby pudu. Now that shit is cute. He so timid. I think they walk backwards until they're like 6 or something. Keep on banin' into shit ass first. Thump. Thud. Bump.

And finally from Christina, the baby gouti.
What is this thing. It looks like it travels by turning into a liquid and drooling it's way through a 1500 mile migration. I guess I'm impressed.
This one got caught in the tide of agouti. It was more like a tsunami. Too soon?



Pancakes and/or waffles 8: The ocho.

In the true Dutch spirit of Bear vs. Monkey, I give you pancakes and waffles numero ocho, Bear vs. Monkey: rumble in the donkey.

Y'all remember Velcro Bears? Well on account of popular demand they are back reppin' team BIAT. You know what that sign says? Huh? Do ya? It says "No Climbing" HA! Eat it. You know they have some incredible belay system set up. The one up top is on his way up and the one on bottom is on his way down. They're changing shifts plunging face first into bee hives up top and napping like they just fucked 6 times on the ground. GO!

This is a baby bonobo monkey from JeanKern. Bonobos masterbate. That's kind of what they're famous for. Masterbating. You see that look on his face, that's because he's masterbating right now and you know how much animals love eye contact when they get off. Well he's making eye contact with you! Right now.
Gosh he looks happy. Anyway.

Go fucking vote you bitch and quit staring at me. You're creeping me out

some kinda monkey

Ok, whoever blinks first looses. ......GO! Good thing his ears are so big, because his eyes are little and they can withstand hours of blinklessness. Um, i think the camera blinked. No wait, that was me. No, wait, it was the camera. Yup, monkey wins.
Eat it Ansel Adam, you bitch. Man Ray, no Monkey Ray. Yeah


FB motherfuckin F

Friday, I loves me some motherfuckin friday.

This one here is from the beloved Nikita. Clearly this koala bear is passed the fuck out. Is anyone other than me a bit concerned that he's going to fal out of the tree. Roll him onto his stomach.

This is a gerenuk from valerie.

Who told this asshole he could stand up? Seriously , who? We can't go giving that shit out like candy. Next thing you know, otters will be using tools and dolphins will have language. We need these things to protect us, people. Protect us people.

Also from valerie, duikers. Pronounciation from a reputable source because I konw if i told you, you wouldn't believe me..
See? Ya see? What would they be doing with thier tongues out like that except trying to speak. Fucked, we're fucked.

Fetal armadillo from Johnathan. Whoa, bonkers. this is some new medical/scientific curiousity shit. It's probably dead if it's fetal so now the pro-lifers are going to be on my ass.
I tell you what Johnny-boy, you can take the heat for this one because I'm sick of those clinic bombing baby worshiping jesus freaks. Boooooo.

Also from johnathan:
By the way, a coworker of mine knows the bitch in charge of cuteoverload. I told her about JALG and she's a convert.

Fuck yeah!

The all-too-real Image_shifter threw this one up. Not just non-mamal, but non-vertibrate which might just be some new shit. Justalittleinvertibrate. No ring there sorry.
I think this guy is a brooklyn graffiti artist.


Seal pup

Oh, my. This seal has eyes that are really really big. And his mouth is all dirty. But let's talk for a minute about the composition and photographic aspects of this photo for a change huh?

Whoever took this was clearly all up in the dirt with the seal unless of course the seal is really tall or the person taking it is really short or it wasn't a person taking it at all but instead another seal. They jacked this dude's camera and started going buck wild with it. Y'all should be glad that I excluded the seal balls and toothbrush up the seal's ass and passed out drunk seal with a cock and balls drawn on his forehead. Those aren't as cute.Do seals have balls? They must, right?
Jesus look at those globes. He kinda looks like he wants to tussle. C''mon scrappy.


p-Cakes or W-fles VII

Meow, here's how I see it. Bear in a tree may have won the last PvW based solely on the surprisingly vocal sloth-hating public, but hey, fair's fair. Not being hated as much is the same as being loved more, right mom?

In this corner:
Hang in there. I read that on a poster with a cat on it in an office where I was being interviewd just before my stay at the assylum. That's right bear in a tree will save me. B.I.AT is just two letters short of biatch. Correct me if I'm wrong here but he looks like he's on his way down. Good luck with that. Fortunately Pv.W isn't an equilibrium contest. Or is it?

Some stern competition here in the blue corner. Ya'll remember kinkajou right. Cuddly snuggly fuzzy little kinkajou. Well now, K.O.A.D. Kinkajou on a dog. (I'm kinda hoping he looses because producing another KOAD picture is going to be pretty fucking tough, but don't let that change your vote.

Uh, ride that bitch. Oh yeah and make eye contact with me while you do it. Just like Valerie's arctic fox but with a little less shame.

Man o man he's really got a grip on that thing. And who knew that kinkajou tails were there for anal stimulation. Fucking Discovery Channel's been lying to me this whole time.

Erbody get your vote on.


Ahh summer

It's summer, it's Friday afternoon, I got no plans this weekend and this is how I feel. (from now on emotions are expressed photographically with cute animals. Words, pshht)

I have nothing bitter, cynical, lewd or offensive to say. Oh this is hard. Wait that's not what I meant. I meant difficult.

Fuck, I blew it. Well there it is, bask in it.


Now, just because it's fan boize friday, doesn't mean the vote is over on Pancakes or Waffles 6. Biggup to fan bwoi stupid haiku dude for having the dopeblog with a SIAB haiku. I love you dude.

I'm having a little internet overload right now. You know when you can't do anything because you want to do everything and you don't have ADD but you are a "tangential thinker" and you drink "too much coffee". Yeah I got that.


Squirrel monkey curtesey of Monki Brewster.
His tail is all creeping up on him like a menacing serpent about to choke the poor sleepy little fella. Don't do it!!! Ahhhhhhhhhh.

Image-Shifter presents to us the Javalina. The beauty here is that this is not a mother son thing. This is an exact scaled down reproduction. They have a javalina xerox in back that can make poster size prints. It's pretty amazing.
Plus the big one is straight up wearing high heals. Oooo, punish me.

Uh, this one's from valerie, who keeps trashing my house. It's a tazmanian devil. Now, we all have our Taz tattoos and we rememmber him fondly from the cartoons but that's not what they're really like.
They're actually vicious killers who are total meth heads. Awwww cute lttle tweaker (I learned that term in Portland, OR). PLUS, look at his little shoes. Or feet, or whatever you call 'em. Pitter patter. I've been up for 65 hours.

And this one's been killing me for weeks now. According to Hawk Notary, it's a lemur. But what the fuck?
Rubbermaid is right. This is the most bondage fetish gremlin bat looking west-village leather-freak of a lemur I've ever seen and believe me I've seen a perved out lemur or two in my day.

For the benefit of the reader: The author was goth in high-school and despite relentless humiliation from the author's "friends", he retains pride in his roots and recognizes that he was shaped by a culture, juvenile though it might be.

And need I get into that facial expression? Jesus pathetic teat-craving Christ. The vibe is as follows: he was behind the controls of some kind of super man-machine from which he ruled an empire with an iron fist. Having recently been ousted from those controls he now lives out his days in a tupperware box still drunk on the power he once had. Ewww.

There's a shit ton more of lemurs here.


Pancake or Waffles, 6: reign of the slothinabox

Bring the pain, it is on.

I am trying so hard to find a picture of a sloth in a box that isn't cute. But I'm sorry, it's like the fight is rigged. The sloth is totally the well equipped prep school kids, clean shaven and mean to their cheerleader girlfriends. Despicable and utterly unbeatable. (On topic: the first jalg post ever which is a little foretelling if not bland.)

I mean come the fuck on. Sloth in a box. For god's sake. The desperation and neediness is oozing out of the corrugated sides. Does he want out or does he want YOU to come in? I don't know but what ever it is I'll do it.

And the challenger. The scruffy underdog from the wrong side of the tracks. He's not mean to his girlfriend because he ain't got one and he found his helmet in his grandfather's attic.
Bear cub in a tree. It seems weak, feeble even. What next? S.O.A.P? The cat in the hat?
I do like the way the leaf is hanging out of the side of his mouth while he's distracted by something below. Kind of a cheap gag but it got me nonetheless. It's on par with overfilling someone's coffee cup because your looking out the window. You know what I think? He's looking at something to eat that's not a fucking leaf. Duh.



valerie does jalg

Here's a first, guest post. From valerie:

i have needs... insatiable alpaca needs. and despite your claim of
being back in alpaca action i'm left feeling cold and empty. like a jar
of vasoline on christmas eve. (what?)

this first guy is just chillin on someone's kitchen floor, legs all
tucked up like he doesn't even have any. who me? legs? what? fuck you i
have nubs.

second holmes is all hey! hi! hello! hey there! good day! some tea?

third guy + colonel sanders... third guy is fucking loooooving that
shit. and so is colonel sanders. maybe a little too much. pervert. wipe
that grin off your face.

and finally, your special bonus treat... the arctic fox kit. if that
shit didn't just make you say "WHAT!" then i guess it's suicide time.

Unfortunately, valerie doesn't realize how small the internet is. But thanks for the adorabilitea.


Back in that action

Fuck a vacay. Brooklyn's Burning and I'm back up in it.

This is a chunk of the look I brought back with me. From Ace of Flushes in Portland, OR where the ladies are hooooot.

It's a tapir. Yay. And it's so new that it's still all fuzzy with embriotic fluid. Yumm.
Look at his little legs. He kinda looks like an unstable cat puppy. Huh? You heard me. Also, he's got that rump. Bangin'