Oh!, sorry.
Me: Oh shit, sorry, I didn't. Um. I 'll just wait out here, I guess.
Freaky ass big o'bear: No, I'ts cool. Come on in.
Me: (laughing nervously) No, thanks. Really. I'm just not. um, ....
FABOB (friendly, still scratching nonchalantly at taint/grundle area): No! really, I mean it. Have a seat.
Me: I'm just not totally comfortable with this. Don't take it personally. (mustering courage) Could you please, um, put your leg down, please.
FABOB: You're cute.
Me: I'm outta here.
FABOB: Wait!, wait. Sorry. I'm not trying to freak you out. I just...
Me: Well you are.
FABOB: And I'm sorry for that. You need to unders...
Me: Seriously, can you put your leg down.
FABOB: O, yeah, sorry. I don't want to offend you I just...
Me: Leg! Down!
FABOB: I'm not very good at this. I've been in a relationship for a long time and I've just grown really comfortable with....
Me: Holy fucking shit put your leg down. If you could see what I'm seeing, you'd understand, I promise.
FABOB: You are cute.
Me: That's it, I'm outta here.
posted by awww at 2:37 PM
9 Comments:
* rubs eyes *
* blinds self *
2:56 PM
Best. JALG. Ever.
Holy hell, you have 6 people laughing, crowded over my monitor.
Last that happened for me required some self-flaggelation. You just wrote something.
KUDOS!
3:02 AM
Clearly, FABOB is not familiar with the concept of a safeword.
Also, you're a very good writer.
9:16 AM
And further also, dude, call the sloth race already.
9:18 AM
I was once at the St. Louis zoo and there was a spectacled bear there that was just going to town on himself. Very awkward.
All the little kids kept asking "Mommy, what's he doing?"
10:54 AM
'S that a sun bear? Sun bears are my favorite. A bit more of them than I usually like to see, but still.
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