Brrrrrr baby brrrrrr

Well boiz and gurlz, its balls cold or tits cold outside and despite massive global warming caused by irresponsible governing bodies, the arctic circle is coming to your town. That's right, grab some hot cocoa and put on your bunny slippers and get your cute on.

I've been intensionally avoiding the baby polar bear this whole time because of its association with a global soft-drink that shall remain nameless, but I can't hold out any longer so here he is the little bastard.

Roll over on your back you little bastard and bite your thumb. That's right. You think your paws are big enough. Someday this little buddy will grow up to be a vicious killer of fish, whales, foxes, beavers and whatever else he can get gigantic paws on but for now: roll around and play!

Not to mension his little friend who I've dubbed cute little fucker or CLF. CLF can actually roll up into a regulation soccerball but don't kick him because he will mame you and when he's grown, he'll eat your young.

(Editor's note: Apparently there is some violence in the air over here at JALG today. Perhaps our writers haven't really been sleeping. All work and no play....)

Dum dee dum dee dum, nothing going on here. Oh Fuck, a baby arctic fox. I, just, um, so, cute, small, bashful, tiny ears tiny ears. Whoa, sorry about that.

I think he might be on his way down, i.e. center of gravity shifting left all too quickly. And he's kinda got that look that a dog getw when they're shitting or getting their belly rubbed which is an eye-contact that nobody is comfortable with because it is laden with guilt and shame. But can you really hold that against him. Hell naw dog. or fox or whatever.

More Baby Arctic Foxes. This is a pretty good way to spend an evening if you ask me. I'm just one man though. Why are these ones whit and the mom is gray and the other baby was grey and the mom on the documentary that I watch on saturday was white? Why do we have to judge based on color? Why?

The one on the right is about to fall off of his little rock. I think he's wispering to his mom.

Harp Seal: baby variety. Whiskers nose eyes, blah blah blah.

I swear this thing can talk. I'm not totally sure that what it would say would be so cute. Look at his mouth, it's like he's poised to say something either profound or perverted. Eyes can be deceiving, beleive me.

I had a baby cayote in here but he got the nix because I realized that cayotes aren't actually that arctic and then I actually looked at the picture, which I hardly ever do, and I reallized that it looked like a lovely spring day and fuck that. STOAT!

This is a stoat or ermine, but what am I your ninth grade fucking bio teacher who got "asked to leave" after showing up at Kirsten Sullivan's party. I think not. Much like his distant relative, the polar bear, the stoat can also roll up into regulation major league sporting equipment but in this case, a baseball. Batter up.

Totally numb to the world and his own cuteness. Ears and eyes, the same size. Head and body, also, the same size. Commas abound, in sentances. What the fuck is up with the rubber gloves? Is he gunna get a pap smear after the photo op? Uncool dude.


Blogger trudatnyc said...

maiming.. kicking.. invasive maneuvers.. ooh my!

11:34 AM

Anonymous jenkim said...

don't forget that polar bears can also kill the adorable beluga whale, which happens to scar very easily...poor beluga

2:41 PM

Anonymous T said...

Personally, I think the baby harp seal is saying "Ride me like a donkey."

1:52 AM

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