5.08.2006

p-Cakes or W-fles VII

Meow, here's how I see it. Bear in a tree may have won the last PvW based solely on the surprisingly vocal sloth-hating public, but hey, fair's fair. Not being hated as much is the same as being loved more, right mom?

In this corner:
Hang in there. I read that on a poster with a cat on it in an office where I was being interviewd just before my stay at the assylum. That's right bear in a tree will save me. B.I.AT is just two letters short of biatch. Correct me if I'm wrong here but he looks like he's on his way down. Good luck with that. Fortunately Pv.W isn't an equilibrium contest. Or is it?


Some stern competition here in the blue corner. Ya'll remember kinkajou right. Cuddly snuggly fuzzy little kinkajou. Well now, K.O.A.D. Kinkajou on a dog. (I'm kinda hoping he looses because producing another KOAD picture is going to be pretty fucking tough, but don't let that change your vote.

Uh, ride that bitch. Oh yeah and make eye contact with me while you do it. Just like Valerie's arctic fox but with a little less shame.

Man o man he's really got a grip on that thing. And who knew that kinkajou tails were there for anal stimulation. Fucking Discovery Channel's been lying to me this whole time.

Erbody get your vote on.

101 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

First vote: kinkyjew

-seen in denva

2:23 PM

 
Blogger Newfweiler said...

Bear in a tree

2:26 PM

 
Blogger Katy said...

omg, this bear in a tree is even cuter than the last one. That kinkajou is pretty cute but that bear looks like its about to fall and it has all those pretty purple flowers in the background...i can't believe how cute it is...

2:31 PM

 
Blogger Katy said...

in case that wasn't obvious enough, it was a vote for the bear

2:32 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

100% bear up there HOLLLAAAAAA!!!

2:34 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"go, little bear in the tree,"

said the young nurse

2:37 PM

 
Anonymous nikita said...

sloth in a box.

2:46 PM

 
Blogger becca-jo said...

oh. man. that's. tough.

could you find some bear on pug action? i'm gonna have to sleep on this.

3:40 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

da bear in da twee.

3:49 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Let's hear it for the Bear!

4:07 PM

 
Blogger Miss Plum said...

bear! look at his little splayed out toes!

4:14 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

bear in a tree. without question.

4:19 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

B.I.A.T. is all, "See all that attitude's unnecessary dude. You never carry 2's, not even squary q's."

B.I.A.T. knows.

4:46 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

the bear is showing his foot pads and trying soooo hard to get up on that branch, its impossible for me to NOT vote for the bear despite kinkajou kuteness

5:14 PM

 
Blogger image_shifter said...

That bear takes himself WAY too seriously. Look at that forwn. Maybe I'm a li'l paranoid, but I think he looks pretty bitter. KinkyJew, however, looks high on life, plus he's a Furry. Go KinkyJew, Do the Humpty Dance! Awww, I know you can find another of his kind.

5:46 PM

 
Blogger Antid Oto said...

This is bullshit. Sloth in a box kicks both their asses. Just like you said, that bear has all the "cuteness" of a doctor's-office kitten poster, like something you'd see on the Blog That Shall Not Be Named. Plus I can climb a tree better than him.

On the other side, it's just plain creepy how someone's holding up that kinkajou like it's for sale on QVC, except in some weird room with black Venetian blinds. Who has black Venetian blinds? 1980s yuppies, that's who. That's some Patrick Bateman shit.

I'm voting kinkajou, but the official record should really be: One Vote Against The BIATCH, Purely Out Of Spite.

6:32 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I voted sloth last time cause it was a stupid bear picture.

I'm voting BEAR this time cause it's a cwoot bear picture and a dorky kinkajoo picture.

This thing's rigged.

6:45 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

kinkajou, clearly. what's wrong with you people?

6:58 PM

 
Anonymous missc said...

MAD PROPS TO NIKITA!!

i too vote for sloth in a box.

8:04 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sloth! It's a me-too vote but whatever.

8:44 PM

 
Blogger image_shifter said...

Wow, Antid, you and Nikita have spurred a movement. Any slogans?

8:52 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

the doctor sayz:

bear cub, yo

9:17 PM

 
Blogger finatron said...

kinky jeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwww! oy!

9:27 PM

 
Anonymous phrawzty said...

KOAD for the motherfucking WIN.

9:56 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh shit--we can do write-in votes? how fucking democratic. i'm going with Rerun from "What's Happening!!" L

10:10 PM

 
Blogger Joanne said...

Hm. Judging from votes for sloth, I guess we can break all the rules and vote for whatever we want. Just to preserve order I vote for cuddly little bear, but if I was maverick enough, I'd vote for pangolin.

10:31 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

we've all suffered through middle school. the braces. the training bras. the gym class erections... the motherfucking "just hang in there" posters.

that shit was tired in the 80s and sure as fuck doesn't deserve my vote now.

the kinkyjew tail-assisted reach-around on the other hand? gold.

valerie

10:46 PM

 
Blogger Tricia said...

Bear in a tree!

11:23 PM

 
Anonymous Antid Oto said...

Yeah, what the hell, I'm changing my vote to sloth in a box.

11:47 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

bear

12:27 AM

 
Anonymous keri said...

I dunno. Bears in trees are way cool, but this one is too motivational poster for me. Bring back the one from last week, and it'd win hands down.

However, that kinkajou? way better than this bear. YAY KINKAJOU.

12:50 AM

 
Blogger awww said...

This is bedlam people. We need order damnit. This is a PUPPET democracy for chrissakes. Arnold says: vote how you're told!

12:51 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fuck bear in a tree. My vote will never go to an animal who cannot stay on a tree yet repeatedly finds himself on one. A sloth would never fall off a tree. If it did you wouldn't be able to tell because he'd fall so slow you'd think it was some sort of sloth ballet. That's why they are put in boxes. When they are in the trees THEY ARE MAGIC.

The vote has to go to the kinkajou. Forget the kinky tail reverse reacharound. I don't even want to get into what he is going to that dog's chest. That kinkajou is into some crazy shiat.

1:05 AM

 
Blogger faith-o said...

My love is still for bear cub!

10:02 AM

 
Blogger Nana B said...

I know you may have a difficult time finding kinkachooo pictures on stuffed animals, but for this one I'll vote Kink-achew.


*coughslothinaboxtrumpsallcough*

10:12 AM

 
Anonymous Riikka said...

My vote goes to bear

10:20 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ok ok. i should have realized that the democratic appearance was just a thin disguise for the fascist reality. I'll go with Il Dulce Kinkyjew. L

11:23 AM

 
Anonymous nikita said...

image_shifter said...Wow, Antid, you and Nikita have spurred a movement. Any slogans?

Sloth: the most adorable deadly sin ever.

-WHADDA WE WANT?
-Bush papaya leaves!
-WHENDA WE WANT 'EM?
-Doesn't really matter. We're not going very far. We'll pretty much be here whenever.

We all know who really rocks/Hell [clap] yeah! [clap] Sloth in a box!

Seriously. I could keep going.

11:27 AM

 
Blogger awww said...

Thanks for making this as difficult as possible. Ugghhh.

kinky jew: 11
B I A T: 14
S I A B: 5
pangolin: 1
rerun: 1

11:32 AM

 
Blogger Johnny Hazard said...

Had ya'all not split the vote ala Ross Perot LOAD woulda won by a vote.

AWESOME for us BIATCH supporters!

11:52 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ok, so stop thinking of the bear as a motivational poster, if it hadn't been mentioned in the post you all would have awwwed twice as loud. just think of it as an adorable baby animal thats trying soo hard just to climb that tree...

11:53 AM

 
Blogger mukaki said...

ummm ... "kinkyjew tail-assisted reach-around" ...

if the koad didn't already have by vote it does now.

3:00 PM

 
Blogger becca-jo said...

ok. babay bear. i'm not down with cross-species crossbreeding. send them far away. koad and pug and wombat and baby raccoon can start a commune.

3:16 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

kinkajou and dog dna just won't splice...its an unnatural match...thats why i'm voting for the bear...and because its just plain adorable

5:40 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

kinkajou and dog dna just won't splice...its an unnatural match...thats why i'm voting for the bear...and because its just plain adorable

5:41 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

kinkajou and dog dna just won't splice...its an unnatural match...thats why i'm voting for the bear...and because its just plain adorable

5:43 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

sorry for the multiple posts guys >.< my computer was telling me it wasn't sending! my vote stands though-bear in a tree!

5:45 PM

 
Blogger Chrystal said...

kinkajou for sure.

8:38 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

long time listener first time caller...
sloth in a box para siempre.

9:15 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kinkajou

10:46 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kinkajou

10:47 PM

 
Blogger awww said...

biat 17
k j - 14
siab 6
rerun 1
pangolin 1


still counting, i think KJ's gunna make a run for it.

10:08 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

K.O.A.RR. - Kinkyjew on a rerun!

but you can cast my vote for the K.O.A.D.

11:24 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

BIAT, biatches

1:00 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That bear isn't Hanging In There. He was captured on film slinging himself around that limb midway through a multi-branch acrobatic performance. Go Bear!

3:04 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mistah Kink! That is the best photo of Ray Davies riding a stuffed bear that I've ever seen; it's got me so I can't sleep at night ...

5:26 PM

 
Anonymous Twin C said...

Kinky JEW!!! Feh on the bear!

(All hail sloth in a box!)

5:48 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

BIAT

6:24 PM

 
Blogger Emma B said...

KINKY JEW

6:46 PM

 
Blogger Stupid Haiku Dude said...

bear + tree = YES

7:20 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i vote baby bat! this is anarchy

7:29 PM

 
Anonymous Lady Zandra said...

Kinky JEw!

7:49 PM

 
Anonymous slashergrrl said...

kink-a-jooooooooooo

7:50 PM

 
Anonymous mike the cat. said...

jew on dog action!

7:50 PM

 
Anonymous Bongo said...

the small humping one, K.onA.D.

7:51 PM

 
Blogger usually_vulgar said...

King KaJou!

7:54 PM

 
Anonymous Kinkajou's Tail said...

Mmmmm, this dog smells good!
I vote for me

10:02 PM

 
Anonymous capybara said...

Bear in a tree. This time.

11:13 AM

 
Blogger awww said...

biat - 22
k j - 21
siab - 6
rerun - 1
pangolin - 1
baby bat - 1
"me" - 1

I'm highly suspicious of some of the last kinka votes. Cheating is fine as long as you DON'T GET CAUGHT. So, I'm only counting 1 of the four brisk and sylisticly similar KJ votes from 7:49-7:51. But nice try.

11:21 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Larry King, a Jew.

4:59 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

biat

8:15 PM

 
Anonymous bear-able said...

baby bear > kinkajou

8:16 PM

 
Anonymous Lucy and Shadow said...

that bear is sooo much cuter than that ugly kinkajou

8:17 PM

 
Anonymous butch said...

kinkajou

1:43 AM

 
Anonymous starshine said...

bear baby all the way...

2:18 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

bear

12:54 PM

 
Anonymous kinkajou said...

kinkajou

4:49 PM

 
Anonymous Sniffer said...

The kinajou with the tell-tale clump of symthetic fur in his tight little fist

7:03 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

One more vote for the kiny one

8:46 PM

 
Anonymous reno said...

kink-a-jooooooo

10:48 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

biat>kj x100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000

11:03 PM

 
Blogger Antid Oto said...

I have been asked to change my vote back from slothinabox to kinkajou. And because I am a little pussy bitch, I am doing it. Kinkajou.

2:02 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

bear, bear, bear, bear bear!

7:37 PM

 
Blogger sarah said...

i would like to keep the bear, please. who will teach the children about fire safety if bears are gone?

10:26 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would like to keep the kinkajooo please. Bears appeal to arsonists, whereas kinky-jews are quite persuasive about the ills of setting fires. This lil guy is, in fact, already doing his part, by satiating that stuffed bear. You see, the urge to set fires has been scientifically linked to sexual frustration, so by being a promiscuous ho, this lil guy is really doing a whole lot more than Smokey ever did.

1:20 AM

 
Anonymous SnickerSnack said...

And hast thou slain the BIAT?
Come to my arms, my beamish Kinkajou!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!
He chortled in his stinky poo.

Or something like that. Anyway another notch on the belt of the ol' kinajou

2:19 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

we have an entire series of books for children about a little bear getting into scrapes. this is because bears are superior to the dirty kinkajou. little bear all the way

10:52 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"You are cute, baby bear," the young child said,
"And your paws are so very pink;
And yet still kinkajou is winning this bet--
Do you think, with your cuteness, it's right?"

see i can bastardize lewis carroll too. dude had a thing for young girls. young girls like baby bears. therefore, it follows logically that lewis carroll would vote for the baby bear.

score one for the baby bear

1:08 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

`How doth the little baby bear
Improve his cutest face,
And climb the tree of flowers fair
and yet still lose this race?

`How cheerfully he seems to climb,
How neatly grips with his claws,
And welcome little kinkajous in
With gently smiling jaws!'

see! more proof of lewis carroll's preference for baby bears

1:13 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Raise your hand if you had a teddy bear as a child (every one who has grown since teddy roosevelt was president raises their hand). how can you vote against an animal that was so much a part of your childhood?

bear it is

3:02 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

baby bear

4:45 PM

 
Blogger awww said...

30 - 35 bear.

I'm callling it. BIAT!

12:07 AM

 
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