Pancake or Waffles, 6: reign of the slothinabox
Bring the pain, it is on.
I am trying so hard to find a picture of a sloth in a box that isn't cute. But I'm sorry, it's like the fight is rigged. The sloth is totally the well equipped prep school kids, clean shaven and mean to their cheerleader girlfriends. Despicable and utterly unbeatable. (On topic: the first jalg post ever which is a little foretelling if not bland.)
I mean come the fuck on. Sloth in a box. For god's sake. The desperation and neediness is oozing out of the corrugated sides. Does he want out or does he want YOU to come in? I don't know but what ever it is I'll do it.And the challenger. The scruffy underdog from the wrong side of the tracks. He's not mean to his girlfriend because he ain't got one and he found his helmet in his grandfather's attic.
Bear cub in a tree. It seems weak, feeble even. What next? S.O.A.P? The cat in the hat?I do like the way the leaf is hanging out of the side of his mouth while he's distracted by something below. Kind of a cheap gag but it got me nonetheless. It's on par with overfilling someone's coffee cup because your looking out the window. You know what I think? He's looking at something to eat that's not a fucking leaf. Duh.
VOTE!
posted by awww at 11:45 AM
60 Comments:
bear in a tree.
sloth in a box can suck it.
12:57 PM
First you make me hate the sloth, then you make me defend the sloth, then you post a sloth in the SAME BOX. The sloth doesn't change facial expressions!
Sloth in a box wins. Destroy all bear cubs.
1:18 PM
retire. the. sloth. everyone will be happy. it's the only way. i'll know that my beloved little guys are undefeated, and everyone else won't have to deal with any more S.I.A.B.
that said, the bear has a lazy eye like the bartender at the pub near me, and that freaks me out.
all sloth, all the time. represent.
1:53 PM
sloth in the box for the win!
1:58 PM
Sloth in a box sloth in a box slooooothhhhhh!!!! In a box!!!!!
-Katie
2:23 PM
miss plum, you're wearing a bear on your head! how can you not choose bear in a tree?
attractive headwear sloths do not make.
3:17 PM
At this point I would vote for ANYTHING that is NOT a sloth in a box! Those sloths are just plain boring!
Go Bear Cub!!!
3:24 PM
I love sloths, but this is ridiculous. Can we try a vote with a sloth *without* a box? I really am curious whether it's just sloth or the combination of sloth with prop.
At any rate, I vote for the underdog-- lazy eye bear cub eating a flower!
3:42 PM
Much as I want to say 'bear', I've gotta go for the sloth. I'm sorry. He's just captivated me.
Sorry bear, maybe another time.
3:42 PM
bear in a tree!
we can defeat the evil sloth...
theres a reason its a "deadly" sin
4:14 PM
Sloth FTW.
Although, i do agree with the poster above who mentions that the Sloth could just be retired as "undefeated"...
4:51 PM
Go sloth! Go sloth! Go sloth! Go sloth! Go sloth!Go sloth!Go sloth! Go sloth! Go sloth!Go sloth!
4:55 PM
I can't imaagine many animals ever whipping the sloth in a box. Sloth in a box is the LeBron of pancakes v. waffles.
5:01 PM
¡SLIZOTH!
5:03 PM
i think those are tribbles in the box with the sloth. either that, or slotheses have tags in their asses. just for that, i vote bearcub.
go cubs!
5:09 PM
the thing with the tag is a stuffed animal, not another sloth. in fact, i think maybe it's a teddy bear. so you get both a sloth and a bear (sort of), while in the other corner you just get the bear. it's like a two for one.
i've had a long think about this vote. i didn't want to throw it away and i believe every vote makes a difference. at least ethically and morally on a personal level. numerically not so much. but i've got to sleep at night. having said that, anyone who votes green party is still on my shit list. ethics don't have to cancel out practicality, kids.
anyway, i vote sloth. he's sort of been the seabiscuit and it's ok if he wins once more, but yeah, i think retirement is drawing near. please let him go enjoy his winnings before his ticker gives out and he's cheated from watching his legacy solidified.
sloth to winnit.
JS
6:01 PM
elwood, i just looked up 'tribbles' b/c i had no idea what you were talking about. that's pretty obscure, trekkie. but it does kind of look like tribbles. cute.
JS
6:14 PM
Nikita nailed it. SIAB must retire undefeated.
And Joanne, I'm not sure sloths come outside of boxes. The cardboard box could be the baby sloth's natural habitat. For example, check out these cuties. Born for the box and you know it.
7:04 PM
what do you people find so attractive about an animal that moves so slowly that it will grow moss on its back....
i vote for the adorable little bear cub who is probably singing, in the immortal words of winnie the pooh,
"up down, all around, puts me in the mood. up down, all around, in the mood for food!" and thinking about chowing down own that tasty flower...
perfect picture for spring: the right season for bear cubs AND flowers!
11:14 PM
i fully endorse the use of "you people" as a means to separate Us from Them.
back in the day, They thought: holy shit, the ugliest laziest most fucking nightmarish creature *can* manage to be cute. how novel. i'm gonna vote for that shit.
what We realize but They don't: not only is slothinabox fugly, he's a hackneyed motherfucker. plaaaayed out.
the reign of terror ends today.
tree-perching flower-eating lazy-fucking-eyed bear cub stays.
valerie
11:37 PM
Oh man, that bear cub is awesome. It climbed a tree. The sloth? I guess they got their name because they never leave boxes. Bear cubs for variety!
1:18 AM
I saw what happened to the wombat. Damn if I'm going let that filthy-ass sloth pull the same shit: Bear me. L
1:34 AM
sloth. obviously. times one million.
2:17 AM
it's trekk-er, thank you very much.
GO CUBS
9:30 AM
12-12
and have I mentioned lately that I love you guys.
9:43 AM
Bear Cub!
'Nuff said...
9:45 AM
Picnic time for teddy bears,
The little teddy bears are having a lovely time today.
Watch them, catch them unawares,
And see them picnic on their holiday.
See them gaily dance about.
They love to play and shout.
And never have any cares.
At six o'clock their mommies and daddies
Will take them home to bed
Because they're tired little teddy bears.
in case that wasn't obvious enough, that's a vote for the bear (if you don't know the song, you should check it out, its a childhood favorite. it should also be mentioned that there ARE no songs about sloths)
9:47 AM
bear
9:49 AM
bear cub in a tree. dude. that's hot.
9:59 AM
Beartimes.
10:27 AM
i agree with joanne - i think these suckas r just voting for the gimmick.
bear cub!
10:58 AM
If it were a sloth OUT of a box, mayybe I'd go for the bear cub. But I can't vote for the bear cub just because the sloth wins to often.
Sloth in a box rules in this respect. Sorry.
SIAB!
12:12 PM
All these people voting for a bear are just sloth-haters. They probably don't do acid or smoke pot even. I mean the bear is just so boring. Sloths have mental telepathy.
Stop the hate. If you can't accept that the Sloth is on another planet of cute, you are a haterrrrrr.
Sloth, obviously.
12:13 PM
Bear = Lenny Kravitz
SLOTH = FUNKADELIC!
12:15 PM
bear pulls ahead
15-19 bear
12:34 PM
As an avid drug user, I am compelled to respond to the above claim from another "anon. said." I find the bear particularly congenial to my altered states of mind. Hello--looking at trees when you're on acid? Brilliant. A bear in that tree would make you think you were entering goddamn nirvana. The mossy sloth on the other hand would make you want to claw your eyes out and jump out the window. Freak you the fuck out: not trip friendly. PLUS--the Dead didn't have a sloth theme, now did they? USERS LOVE BEAR IN TREE.
12:56 PM
although a dancing sloth sticker would rule, on a cadillac.
1:07 PM
hey, i smoke lots of pot still love the bear, as the other anon. poster said, who is the symbol of the dead? BEARS! and whats infinity times cooler that sloth in a box? BEAR IN A TREE!!! go bear!!
1:46 PM
Sloth in a box! He loves me.
3:03 PM
bear in a tree houses sloth in a box in a suprise spilt card decision - and no, I have no idea what any of that means.
3:22 PM
Sloth
in
a
Booooooooox
3:42 PM
18-22 bear,
we got til at least monday to sort out this controversy
4:16 PM
SLOTH
7:47 PM
o, so i'll admit, the sloth is kind of cute, but that bear just makes me want to give it a big hug and chomp on that flower with it. bear, for the win
8:36 PM
gotta go for the sloth.
11:44 PM
I have discussed this with an expert - psychotherapist(!). Rooting for the hideous underdog feels good. It makes all those years of torment make sense, somehow. But, no, the SIAB winning willl not make you a worthwhile person. Bear is more beautiful, bear is cuter, and, most likely bear is a cheerleader. Deal with it. BEAR WINS!!!!
1:02 AM
fuzzy wuzzy was a bear,
fuzzy wuzzy had no hair,
fuzzy wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy,
was he?
the bear is so much cuter than the hairless fuzzy wuzzy and, more importantly so much cuter that SIAB! so revel in its cuteness and vote bear cub!!
10:36 AM
bare in a trieee
11:06 AM
Much as I love the boxsloth, I am clinically incapable of voting against a baby bear when it looks all stupid like that.
Bear. Not saying I won't vote for Sloth In A Gunnysack in the future.
9:11 PM
never not sloth in a box! go sloth in a box!
9:31 PM
sloth in a motherfucking box!
sloth wins!
9:51 PM
i would like to keep the bear cub.
he reminds me of smokey the bear (who i hear is a lot more intense in person.)
10:32 PM
B is for beyond cute
E is for everything i could ever hope for in an animal
A is for ADORABLE
R is for ruler of this contest
Put it all together and you have yourself a winner!
11:54 PM
so i'm stuck at home sick today instead of playing games and eating ice cream in class and the only thing that made it any better was looking at bear in a tree again. come on guys, anything with that kind of healing power deserves to win, hands down.
go bear in a tree, best medicine ever!
10:01 AM
The sloth has the ET thing going for it but I'm going to have to support the bear staying in existence.
12:33 PM
if you separate the votes for Sloth, the votes for Bear, and the votes for Not Sloth, i bet my slothie wins.
9:53 PM
buuuuuzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
31-22 bear
Begin the reign of B.I.A.T.
2:09 PM
bearsloth.
10:22 PM
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5:05 AM
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