Pancakes or Waffles Part 9

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh shit it is on.

The contender, going up against the great masturbating ape. The little guy. Baby bittle wittle bottle fossa! Bring it bitch! You trying to get at me? Huh? I will break you. You want puppy dog eyes? I tear that shit out and eat it whole.
Fuck a dog, kill a dog, shot gats at all dem other blogs. Bluck bluckbluck.
Anybody other than me seeing the slight downward tilt on the outside of his eyes. Desperation is how i read that, sweet lovable desperation.

And the crown-holding, cock-scolding, ass-reaming, brooklyn-steaming ape of rape. The clean sanchez. Raise the roof and praise the poof for the one the only bonobo.
He took took out the BIAT and I personally am P.O. Ticked, peaved miffed and downright angry. I could just......I could just .......hrumph.

Here's the little guy now. I wonder where his other hand is. Huh? Is his mom coaching him through a wank? I bet. He's looking up for some moral support and also some tit. Kinda biting his lip. Looks scared but excited all at the same time. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Who will ookie on the cookie. Fossa? Bonono? Well probably bonobo. But that's not what we're here for, we're her for pancakes or waffles and damnit we need votes.



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6:15 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

monkey! monkey!

6:34 PM

Anonymous phrawzty said...

The monkey can keel over and die. Bottle baby FTW!

7:11 PM

Anonymous Ocean's Edge said...

Fossa! Fossa!!

8:18 PM

Anonymous baby said...

um. murder that monkey, fossa! and also take care of that weird anonymous post about making extra money. what is that shit? they didn't even vote.

a.k.a. anything but gross monkey

9:23 PM

Blogger Katy said...

fossa, nothing is cooler than an animal from madagascar...i mean, come on!

9:52 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

fossa mista. and god i wish i could make more money looking at pictures of adowable aminals...secret shopping for saaaaaay pygmy goats?

10:00 PM

Anonymous L.M. said...

Screw that creepy little perved out monkey, I vote for the fossa.
make-extra-money person should have his vote counted as fossa too, because I said so.

10:44 PM

Blogger Alizarin said...

Fossa. I bet there are even cutre pictures out there. Do I have to mention they're really ferocious predators?

11:45 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

i make really good pancakes. from scratch.

12:22 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

also, i vote for the monkey

12:24 AM

Blogger image_shifter said...

Whoaaaa there folks, where did all this bonobo hating come from? Don't hate him, he's just a cute lil guy who knows how to get his rocks off. Sure, fossa's the one with the natural good looks (assuming he hasn't had plastic surgery) but choosing fossa over chimp is like voting for paris hilton instead of Janeane Garofalo, and we all know whos better in bed. I vote for the dexterous fingers of BoNoBo!

12:47 AM

Blogger Cat said...

Fossa! Rock on little guy! Those are the eyes of a guy who knows how to get some from the ladies. Bonobo has given up on the ladies and just goes with himself.

1:17 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like a confident masturbator as much as the next lady. It's just that I enjoy the fossa eyes more. Clearly, he must be balanced just so or those eyeballs will roll right out of the sockets.

1:58 AM

Anonymous riikka said...


4:49 AM

Blogger awww said...

no-go bonobo : 3

fossa, the musical: 10

11:10 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

fossafossafossa wooowooo

12:19 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bob Fossa, natch.
I made over $900 last month kicking bonobos off the island.

12:19 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...


2:29 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

fossa fo' shizzle

2:59 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...


4:51 PM

Blogger Spottie G said...

Go fossa go.

5:40 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can scarcely be voting harder for the J-I-G-G-A F-O-S-S-A

7:16 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

monkeyyyy monkey monkey monkey.
the monkey makes me feel sexual.

9:45 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

monkeyyyy monkey monkey monkey.
the monkey makes me feel sexual.

9:45 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

fossa babies are born blind and toothless...a lot like human babies...therefore fossas are way cooler than the yucky monkey...

and they rocked in madagascar....

10:49 PM

Blogger Emma B said...

I am confused by the logic of that last anonymous comment.
1. How does blind and toothless = winning feature?
2. OK, let's say that the animal's similarity to humans IS a selling point. Then why would you vote for the fossa when his opponant, el bonobo chimp shares over 98% of it's DNA with us?
I think you were trying voting for the chimp.
I know I am.
go bo no bo

11:26 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...


11:35 PM

Anonymous g said...


12:15 AM

Blogger usually_vulgar said...

Dude. Fossa.

2:07 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

fossa looks so determined... i love it!


3:09 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

fossa looks so determined...i love it!


3:09 AM

Blogger becca-jo said...

fossas to the max!

2:24 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

i just can't call it...

4:54 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

you know what? I can call it. The monkey got me, he's cuter in this one than the 1st go-round. No sloth in a box, but that "mommy what's a 401k?" look is tugging at my heartstrings.

4:56 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

F is for fuck that bammer monkey
O is for over it
the double S is super sweet
A is obviously for ass kicker

little dude is in it to win it, son

4:06 AM

Blogger Stupid Haiku Dude said...


i mean, fossa!

fosse sucks! fossa rocks!

10:27 AM

Anonymous missc said...

oh shit!
my votes on the mighty little FOSSA!

12:44 PM

Blogger sterna said...

Fossa. No question. I mean, what could be cooler?

1:42 PM

Blogger image_shifter said...

Dear Awww,
I hope there's something really fun distracting you from JALG, like a ridickoulous amount of hot summer sex, or a new found interest in collecting elephant-foot stools or something. Anyway, I think I speak for us all when I say that the absence of fan boize friday made me feel a lil sad, being without the shining beacon of humor and filth that is a regularly updated JALG. All the same, I would be much comforted by a detailed account of what's been keeping you away, and be sure to keep it torrid.
Just one of your demanding and quite possibly irritating fanz,

6:28 PM

Anonymous littletarsier said...


11:07 AM

Blogger Joanne said...

Definitely fossa, the cute little rocka.

11:55 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...


10:41 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

forget masturbating monkeys. that lil fossa is making love to the camera darlink. i vote fossa

2:14 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

BoNoBo's still cuter than you.

And second on image_shifter's complaints.

6:57 PM

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