Great Stroy

Cancun, summer, 1999, spring break. Fucking spring break motherfuckers.
Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! It's tatooin' time and there's this little place on the corner call "Tat For Tit" and man the honeys are coming in and out of there. So, one tequilla, two tequilla, three tequilla, .... floor?
I'm out dood and I mean OUT. There's like all these fucking shirpas and shit talkin to me and I'm like seeing medicine men and shit. I mean I was O-U-T OUT! Then I wake up in this cave and I have a headache like, ahhhggghghgggghhhhh. Nowamean? blaaaaaaaaaghhhggghhhggaaahh. And I'm looking around and the cave is like plastic or something and it's hollow and really small. And what do i see. This guy. This little fucking guy like black yoda strollin up and telling me he dragged me out of the gutter, took my money but not my wallet and nursed me back to health. I try to slug the little jedi for snaggin my shit but i don't have the strength.
Long story short, to repay my debt of gratitute I got his likeness tatooed on my ass.

Thanks, guy.


Who wants to play a quick game of scenario!
Look how sad he looks. This is clearly a case of pent up shit-kicking peubescent angst. Dimensia-precocks if you will. O i will.

The game goes like this: We think of scenarios to match the picture. Duh?!!

I'll start. Tortured by his horrendous foreskin-like skin problems, this baby aardvard has taken to bashing his head against the side of this dirt bin. This releases a chemical in his brain that is like having sex. Or eating chocolate if you're into that sort of thing but i've always believed it to be a cheap substitute. Anyway, the unintended side effect here is gigantism of the hands or front paws or claws or whatever you call em.
Gak. So much for that hot date tonight. Now you're all nutted out and big handed. That's not gunna get you anywhere and your skin still looks like scrote. Bummer.


monkey torture

A little something from the old days.