How do you make a tiger love a pig? You get me drunk! Budum ching. Nope, truth is you wrap em in tiger blankets. So you get pigs in blankets. Little did you know that in your refusal to let me quit, I changed formats and now JALG is all cornball all the time.
So here I'm looking at the one second from the right. I guess that would be the one who had none. He's backwards. I knew this girl in college who slathered everything she owned in exotic animal prints. I can't help but think she's resposible for this somehow.
Holy fuck, how did this arrangement come to pass. Were they placed there or did they climb up on their own free will. Does the tiger nurse them? Is the tiger kosher? I have so many questions.
Now, as a general rule, I don't like bows. But c'mon. Look how perfect the tiger's nose is. Get some snot on that thing or somethin.
So you take one creature, infamous for its voracious consumption, and another creature, infamous for its tender juicy flavor and you get them to snuggle. World peace is obtainable.
Shit, if I was that tiger I'd have a homebrew smoker up and running in about 20 minutes. Have me some baby back ribs, porchetta, mailino chops. Shit.

The sneak, and booya, underside head nuzzle. Gorgeous.
I'd like to thank my mom for the pics. (yeah i have a fucking mom. So what?)


Pancakes or Waffles 10 : I'm Baaaaack, killah

Ok, jeez you guys are relentless. I tried to ditch this thing but it followed me home and now it won't leave.

Also I was killing time because there are not a lot of pictures of cute fossas out there. But here's one, oh wait, two!

I call this the ultimate sucker punch. The one on the bottom, he's been hanging there for like 4 days waiting for what's his face to come across that rope and you know what's gunna happen when he does. KaPlapp.

But that'll just daze him. Then there'll be a 20 minute flesh tearing fest to see who's actually cuter.

See, I told you P or W was a better way. But no, you wanted the bloodbath you fucking maniac.

But how are you gunna take on this guy. Fight til your dead but this baby rusty spotted genet is about to snuggle his way right into your colon so he can eat you from the inside out. What are you going to do huh, punch yourself in the colon. Good luck with that.I really see here a kind of deconstructed adult genet. It's like all the same pieces but put together at a different scale. Maybe that's what all baby animals are. Just franken-adult animals. Whoa.

Alright, I freaking myself out. Go vote and don't fill up my comments section with that "it's good to have you back shit."

Parenthetical note: The other reason I didn't give up the blog is because I only got one submission from some uber-psycho who sent me a picture of a monkey sucking his own dick!
And then he had the audacity to not even mention that fact in his commentary. Wha!? That's

a) bordering on beastiality, which I'll talk about participating in but not really participate in.

b) Dodging your own hook.

c) Puritanically chaste in its avoidance.

d) Actually gross (that's why I'm not showing it)


The dread pirate JALG

So, I found this baby red panda on my doorstep. (How'd you find me nikkita?) And fuck if I know what to do with it. I'm cold and loveless and he really wants to snuggle. But that's just not my thing.

So, I'm giving away the baby red panda. Well not actually.

I AM GIVING AWAY JALG (pronounced as one sylable with a hard G sound).

That's right, you can WIN MY BLOG.

We're going to do this caption contest style. But with posts instead of captions. Send in submissions to jalg.soldier@gmail.com. I'll post the entries and we can vote on them. This time I get to vote too. (and also count, and cheat if I feel like it).

Remember, no fucking dogs or cats.

I'll come back from time to time but you people deserve better than having an absent and occasionally abusive blogger supplying you bitterly with the cuteness.

Some suggestions to get you started:
1. Google image search, dumbass.
2. You have to understand the animal before you can berate it.
3. There's still a strong lobby for baby bats.
4. If you can get JALG on boingboing (with proof) you will get extra concideration.
5. Extra concideration also for sexual favors.

Good luck, soldiers.