The dread pirate JALG

Hi,
So, I found this baby red panda on my doorstep. (How'd you find me nikkita?) And fuck if I know what to do with it. I'm cold and loveless and he really wants to snuggle. But that's just not my thing.

So, I'm giving away the baby red panda. Well not actually.

I AM GIVING AWAY JALG (pronounced as one sylable with a hard G sound).

That's right, you can WIN MY BLOG.

We're going to do this caption contest style. But with posts instead of captions. Send in submissions to jalg.soldier@gmail.com. I'll post the entries and we can vote on them. This time I get to vote too. (and also count, and cheat if I feel like it).

Remember, no fucking dogs or cats.

I'll come back from time to time but you people deserve better than having an absent and occasionally abusive blogger supplying you bitterly with the cuteness.

Some suggestions to get you started:
1. Google image search, dumbass.
2. You have to understand the animal before you can berate it.
3. There's still a strong lobby for baby bats.
4. If you can get JALG on boingboing (with proof) you will get extra concideration.
5. Extra concideration also for sexual favors.

Good luck, soldiers.