sweet panda juice
Ahhh, the morning after. My head hurts like ass. After enduring a number of theft allegations vis-a-vis fasion sling and the levee, I need a little hangover helper. Pandas!
I would like to start by saying that I CAN front. In fact I pose harder than all y'all real cats. But for the sake of Hua Mei, I'm gunna get legit on you. This is Hua Mei, the panda with sad, far away eyes. I like this because of quotes like:
"A great big furry bowl of baby panda."
"It means 'China USA' .... It also translates as 'Magnificent Beautiful'."
Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. Panda tounge, panda eyes, panda nose, panda ears. Fuck it,I don't care anymore. Who wants my iPod because I'm moving to Tibet to live with the monks and blog pandas all day everyday.
When I was a kid and I went to the pediatician's office, Dr. Strauss, there was this picture on the wall of one of the examining rooms of a huge line of babies of all different races and colors.. In particular I remember this one with a big ol' weird lookin' head that always kinda freaked me out.
This pandaramic is 'bout it, 'bout it. Gold wrapped in platinum. Precious fucking metal. Why do those three get to stand on top? Are the extra-super cute? Why do baby pandas always look like they are going to tip over? EQ, reccognize.
Why do baby pnadas help my hangover? They just do.
Tiny reptile eases my pain. So little. I think he wants out of that giant crushing human hand with the lame-o ring.
But yeah, he's brave and he's vigilant. He's the future of the earth. After the mamals have all perished, tiny reptiles will rule.
This is just an excuse to post.
Post turtles that is.
Ooooh, what are ya hidin from there fella? Something scary. I found you. You're right there in your shell. Yes you are, your head is poking out and I can see it. Hi
I bet he makes a great skipping stone and then when he stops skipping, back to nature and the Sea, the great Sea.
The sugar glider , carnivor, canibal, hunter of man. Often refered to as flesh devourer or Son of Sam of Downunda, the sugar glider ferociously invades its prey through the occular cavity consuming first the brain of its victim.
This is the SG's pouncing stance. So perfectly balanced and able to jettison itself at such high speed, the existance of such a position makes one question anything but intellegent design.
His ears scan the audio landscape for food altough his eyes can see through the darkest midnight. Note: the photographer was found only in pieces next to her camera. Dental records are inconclusive.
From birth, the SG know only death and food. This infant is devouring this unsuspecting pet store owner. They are so small when young that they can slither through even the tiniest hole in a cage. They usually need to be kept in a bucket with a tight fitting lid.
The viewer will note the lack of blood. This is because it has all been readily lapped up by this SG's sibilings. Only skin and well groomed fingernails remain.
The same one, only moments later. This is truly a scene of terror.
When food runs low they will turnn on their own kind. This mother has had her spine snapped by her own child and will be consumed alive but inert.
The severed hand on which this drama is played out is that of the photographer of the first image.
O horrible beast of the night. Murderer, tyrant, bearer of death. Spare the human race. Your parade of destruction has marched on too far.
back yard babies
napping in the new england foliage. the dopeness.
The eyes are like little buds. They have tiny little ears and the one on the left is kind of smiling. In his sleep. What do baby squirrels dream about. Nuts? Probably nuts.
Chip? Dale? Chippendales. Yes, that's right, he's got to pay tuition so he moonlights as a stripper. $20, lapdance. Count me in.
this is quite possible the most content creature that god has ever put on the earth. I love you baby chipmonk. I love you.
P.S. My puter's on the fritz so I'm laggin on the JALG posts until I can reup.
Thanks Trudy for the pics and thanks David for the puter.
Sweepy wittle wabbit
Don't we all just wish that life was this simple. That you could curl up in the hand of some stranger, cross your arms, rest your head on your hands, close you eyes and just sleep away the nicest afternoon ever. This is making me pretty genuinely sad. drat.
So little. I bet he's really soft and even more so, cuddly. Bunnies!
This came from a page on what to do with a baby mamal that you found and was sent to me via trudy who is a JALG soldier.
I am in a total state of shock. I'm quitting JALG and spinning off (a la Frasier)
to an all baby kinkajou blog. www.justa littlekinkajoubitches.blogspot.com. Look for it soon.
Dumb or high, dumb or high? I don't know. Cute, obviously. Nice bowl there buddy. You gunna make ramen?
Ears like Alfred E. Newman or, more aptly, Bush. So in conclusion: dumb.
Man I love my job. Look at his little head. Kinda like a bowling ball with three holes except that reminds me of a sexual joke from Kingpin and now I'm weirded out.
Agian with the ears. He kind looks like a chiuaua, right? Speaking of which, I couldn't post this because of my no non-panda dogs policy but It's pretty rad: link thanks trudy.
Weeeeeeeee! I got a bottle. Weeeeeeeee!
Koala? Pug? Ewok? Strangulation victim? Yes.
I used to think that the best cure for a hang over was bitching about it, but it turns out that 5-6 pounds of kinkajou works pretty good. Information provided by this wikipedia page witch is pretty bizzare and nonsensical and overally worth checking out.
We here at JALG are big fans for the baby bottle when applied to our animal friends. They diggit. Look at the sheen on this guy.
Glossy. He's all covered with milk. Cute.
Whoa. Porcelain perfection. Look at the eyes on this one. He's anime.
Humping a stuffed panda? I have no idea.
Hey ladies. The kinkajou's got his tounge in her ear wisperin' : "wait 'til you see my dick."
And her mom is RIGHT THERE. Hot.
Big prize to the fist person to tell me the coolest part of this picture. (hint: it's not the pattern on mom's dress.)
Challenge: Talk about the following picture as long as possible without mensioning the cutest animal to ever use a Sony v a i o. Here goes:
That towel is white. I can't fully parse the angle on the vaio. Is that a monitor? There's a bong in the background! Oh wait, no. There's not. O fuck it, I can't do it. He's so cute and there's nothing else in the goddamn picture.
He's like a cupcake frosted with the finest butter cream frosting produce from the royal cows of Finland. His tiny prodrudant earls aren't fully developed and they're just little nubs. He's got little claws and his hair is all pink and soft. I'm dying.
Marmo, set, get your tiny monkey on.
What time is it? Cuz I just gave this little fella a delicious roasted fennel and warm bean salad with baked feta and now I'm looking at the manual and it says if it's after midnight I got a shit ton of trouble on my hands.
oh wait, my B. That's not a moguai, it's a marmoset. The resemblance is almost shocking though. Point of note, that's not a bed he's standing on but instead it's a hand.
Grenade! Oh, no that's not a grenade, it's a marmoset, next to something that looks like a grenade. He's so curious, the little bugger. He's just out on the deck enjoying an ear of tiny corn, lampin'.
helloo little guy.
One more of this fella cuz I can't get enough, can you? Is that a little booty dance he's doing? no. Why is he so fucking fuzzy.
Don't get me wrong, I don't want him shaved or anything weird like that. I'm just curious. I also like the striped (pronounced with two full sylables: Stripe Ed) tail.
And what would a baby marmoset post be without a french manicure. That's some really fine work. If the hand model in this picture reads this, get back to me and tell me what nail salon you go to because the girls on the corner have been fuckin with my cuticles and I just have so much tolerance for these kinds of things.
I mean, I pay good money and how hard is it really to make my nails look half decent. Seriously.
Look at his curly little tail. hehehe
What's weird is that in my week away from the blogging, I got a lot of suggestions for animals and TWO of them were echidnas. Bizzare. I've never heard of these fuckin things before but it turns out that they make great sporting equipment.
Face down ass up.........
no, not a popple, an echidna. Also know as a spiney anteater. This thing is bigger than it should be. It should be no bigger than baby hedgehog but it's actually the size of a volleyball. Unless the hands are abnormally sized. I don't know.
I don't know where to start here.
Kilroy? anybody? anybody?
This one's gor highlights. Natural streaking? suuuuuuuure.
I met this guy in the bathroom at royal oak.
This is just too easy. Look at these little fuckers all sleepy and shit. Booya.
BTW, nice fleece ass-hole. Gimme those lynx before you corrupt them with your stupid hippy bullshit.
I feel like these guys should be doing a see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil thing. But they're not. Except for that the one on the left looks like he's blind in one eye.
fuzzy little guys.