Why do they call them wild animals? It's not because they'll kill you. And it's not because they won't give a fuck when they do it. It's not even because they feel no guilt and show no remorse. It's because they like being called wild and they flaunt it every chance that they get.
Shhhhhh! Sleep! That's it, you'll be home soon.
This crazed monkey got so frustrated with his feline allergy that he took two vicadin, two clartin and a fistful of benedril, went over to his friends' house, opened it with his set of extra keys and put a the tastiest sleeper hold on on their cat since Brutis "The Barber" Beefcake.
Come here and give us a hug. That's right puppy, right over here, snuggle up with your fellow animals and relax. We're gunna have a little photo op, cuddle with some hot cocoa, eat some marshmellows and eggnog and then we're gunna ... SNAP! .....