Firefox disambiguation

So I guess technically, this is FBF material because this first one was sent to me by Christy. Now, I'm not that bright and I'm definately not "good with colors," so it took me a minute to realize that this was a dog with a dyed red mohawk. I'm pretty sure it's a chow chow. I know what you're saying and you know what: stuff it. And don't start sending me pictures of your stoopit schnauser drinking a beer or your fucking cat with a pierced tounge.

This is different:
My favorite part about this series is that you can take it in either order. I wish blogs weren't so linear so that I could present him with no expected mentis tempora (Made that one up). I'm going to stop myself from going on about how this proves the heart is timeless, but believe me I could.

So much text, but there's a lot of shit going on at JALG today. Also, firefox is the literal traslation of the chinese words for both the red fox and the red panda and because there's red pandas on the brain, I thought, wow, even more garbage to blabber on about.

Here's baby red fox.
And here's red panda:

Surprise surprise, he came from somsai, who is still blowing my mind consistantly with the panda pics. How does she do it?

I've said enough but I'm going to say more. Red pandad looks so rogueish. From now on, they're called rogue rouge. eh, eh, eh, no buts. That's the new name. And red fox, well, how about we have a contest to see who can call him out best. Winner gets a prize. Call it a caption contest.


My bracket

For all you suckers that had polecat going all the way, it looks like you're loosing the office pool. I'm calling it.

Baby raccoon: 25
Pole bitch: 21.

Better luck next time, you little ferret wannabe.


This is your next competition, baby raccoon so get ready, it's going to be tough.

This is not a vote yet so put the mouse down.


L F ant

Finally elephants

This is exactly how I feel. It's 10 AM and I'm still awake. Bad news rap dudes.

Mama LFant is all: what the fuck are you doing you little maniac.
Babyfant is all: I'm gunna get loose. Work it out. Feel me?
Mama fant: you crazy like your daddy.
Babyfant: Shake that rump like it's gunna end today! Look at him go. No reservations. Uninhibited (so, hibited) rawkus rowdy rebel.
This guy is going to bust up left and then when you're not looking, bust up right. Yeah. If you got it flaut it babyfant. You rule.



On account of and due to a lazy and unpoductive fan base, no fbf today.
Oh and Pancakes or Waffles is still running so vote early and often.


This is what I'm talking about, OG shit. Nipple suckin', eye squintin', scrunchy face cuteness. None of that white linens and cappuccino cup bullshit. None of that puppies and little kids crap that Bob Saggat tired to sell you on AFV. The real old-man-looking mouth full of milk tiny ears four-finger cuteness.
Oh yeah that is gooood. I like milk too man, there's nothing wrong with that. What else are you going to drink with a PB&J? Coke? Don't be an ass. Water? Pointless. Beer? Your priorities are all fucked up. Look at how bulbous his little eyes are, it's freakin me out. O! I got it, he reminds me of the rabbit in Whiney the pooh. What's his deal? He's always drunk or he's skitzophrenic or he hangs out outside of elementary schools. I forget.

This guy brings me back to when JALG didn't have to rely on gimmicks to get readership. Remember weasle and kinkajou. Those were the days.

Bebbe sqrl: Ahhh, gahhhk, you're choking me.
Human Ass: There's some medical stuff in the background so that means that this is good for you.
Bebbe sqrl: You fuck.
Then the photgraph was taken just as the word fuck was being finished and the frustrated glare of the baby squirrel climaxed into a scathing glower.
There's also a little talk-to-the-hand going on there. But it was unintentional. Bebbe sqrl was listening to Gang of Four and smoking Palmals while you were watching Oprah. Pussy.


Pancakes or Waffles Part 3

(Rocky music) He's back ladies and gentlemen and he's bad. The sidewinding sideswiper, more ferocious than a ferret and hotter than an otter. The one, the only Polecat. yayayayayay.

Dig in champ your gunna need all your strength tonight. (spit) You see that towel you're standing on, you will not throw it in. Eat all the hay, because you need the fuel to destroy this motherfucker. (spit)
Perfectly designed for battle. Tiny ears are impossible to grab and tiny eyes are ungougeable. Look at the pouncing stance.

But there's a new guy in town. The tree climbing, death defying, garbage eating maniac. Baby racoon.
Hanging on for dear life cuz he's a fighter. A killer. Is he on his way up the tree or down. That's for you to decide.


Greater glider

Ugghhh fucking finally. I've been trying to post this shit all damn day. Some crackpot sent me a link to some quokkas, which are a cross between a rat and a kangaroo and hence, not cute.
Sorry Cat.
But on the brighter side, it lead me to these guys. Greater glieders. Watch out sugar glider, looks like we might see you in pancakes or waffles soon.
Se llama blackie. Nice. Whatcha lookin at? oh, me! yes. That's great I was looking at you too. Sooooo, here we are. Nice fingernails. I know he looks like a mogwai, but I'm not going to say anything about it because that is so JALG circa november.

I took it upon myself to dub this guy whitie. Look at those ears. You can't make shit like this up. He's kind of got a zoolander pose going as he crawls out of and over that tree. Work it.

That's a fucking puppet, it's got to be. Maybe taxadermy. There is a world of greater gliders out there for me to explore. We'll see more soon.


Ahhhh, that's better. Bakc in action. Alpaca action.

Ew? or cool? I fuck your america! But I'm stillmakingnoise.makingnoise.
If anybody's ever seen wonderfalls, this reminds me a lot of it. I don't know why. Here's my working hypothesis on lil' man alpaca up there: LOVES affection and cuddling to the point that it's funny and cute at first but then it gets kind of annoying and then gross because he's fucking slobbering all over you and he keeps jamming his nose into your crotch and it really fucking hurts. Clearly his knowledge of human anatomy is subpar because if he actually loved you he'd stop crushing your balls.
I believe the starwars creatures are called tontons.

Blogger is a diseased prostitute

I can't upload fucking pictures, I'm impotent over here.


Something to cry about

"Something to Cry About" is actually what Picture Taker 2 titled this picture on flickr. I salute you good sir.

I can not fucking wait for summer. Spark a doob and straight lamp in the shade. You know that song that's like "in the summer time when the weather is hot..." That's playing in the background right here. Also, "we gonna lay around the shanty momma, and put a good buzz on..."

Little man is all: Simba, eat a dick, you don't smoke weed like us. You don't hold arms like us. You don't push weight like us. Bluck bluck bluck.



Oh yeah, it's time for some more fan boize friday. Bring the pics, I feel gooooood.

Rachael Pleet sent in a great disposition on the honey badger (I'm her thesis advisor) including this photo:

which demonstrates how the honey badger carry their young. Very similar to how I carry pork chops or day-old bagels. Slanging honey badger. Supportin your habbit
Oh yeah and she also says that honey badgers have their own web site. <horror stricken whisper>they can type</horror stricken whisper>

This is a mouse lemur or a dwarf lemur or a pygmy runt lemur or something. Sent my way no doubt by the always lovely Nikita.

Also available for your viewing pleasure, Lemur porn. Take it from me man, you won't regret it.

Dig up the old Go-Go's albums because lookit, sifaka. Pronounced, mind you , like shifuck.

Where the sweet fuck is he going in such a funky rush. Groove on by dude! Keep on truckin sifaka. Move those hips for me ma.

I got this one from beccajo and even though they look suspiciously domesticated, these fishing cats are pretty fucking off the meter.


I almost forgot this golden fucking nugget from troodie.
He's so fucking eurotrash, check out his fauxhawk.Nice Vespa you fucking douche wad.


Pancakes or Waffles Part 2

Well we have a winner and by a landslide to boot.
dum dum dum dum!
River otter.
So, now the cycle of pain continues. Bring the noise.

In the blue corner, the defending champion. Weighing in at about the size of a big dachshund. Da wivew ottuw.

You can see why this guy won the first fight. That no bullshit, never give up, fuck-or-fight spirit. He chews those rocks into dust to harden his deadly teeth. Hiii-ya!

And in this corner, a worthy competitor indeed. From the mean streets of southern and western africa. Able to emit a foul smelling scent from his anal glands. Capable of playing dead AND climbing trees. Sugar Ray Ploecat.

He's a ferrocious fighter. Oh yes he is.

All right, I wanna see a fair fight, none of this. None of this. And certainly none of ThIs.



Now I'm just killing time.

This fucking maniac has got a site about the binturongs , aka bearcat, aka lazy bear, aka supinecat, aka tree loafer, aka schlub.

The interface is pretty funny.

Some crrrrzy panda lady

Flickr, finally good for something

Smoke that stogie. Straight lampin. There's about 1500 of these waiting for you at Somesai's photostream.

There is some freaky orgiastic panda fest going on there. Count me in cuz she's smokin'!


Pancakes or Waffles Part 1

Welcome to the first installment of a new series I like to call, pancakes or waffles, based on the game of the same name. The idea is as follows. I post up 2 animals and y'all have to tell me which one you want to remove from earth forever. This can be done in the comments section or with a megafone in Times Square or some other "sensitive" location. The "winner" is then removed from earth forever and hence can no longer participate in "Pancakes or Waffles."

We'll start out easy.
In this corner... the river otter.

Nice towel buddy. Did you get that in a happy meal? And nice face too. Grummpphh.
I'll weigh out some pros and cons to help your decision:
Pro: looks dumb, helps cuteness.
Con: Slippery fur makes for easy escape. And what's the point of not anihilating them if you can't even hold on to one.
Pro: Limitlessly loving eyes.

And in the blue trunks we have....Sea Otter. Definately more inclined to eat a clam (if you know what I mean.)

Pro: this is practicly and unfair advantage, 69ing baby on belly.
Con: Sea otters always look like they were just dragged out of an oil spill.
Pro: Baby is sleeping.
Con: Doesn't that possition hurt your stomach mussels?

Sorry that last one was a question, not a con.
That's it. The choice is up to you. GO!


Mas piglets

More piglets. These were on the way to roca blanca. South pacific coast. I was at a strip club til bout 6 last night, if you know what i mean, so excuse me for typos.

If you didn't know, pigs subsist moslty on the crumbs at the bottom of bags of chips.
And cardboard and garbage. This lil guy is VERY well fed.

This one's on the way back from roca blanca, which by the way is fucking paradise.
They have a shit ton of fucking pigs down there. Not to mention burros, perros, oppossums vultures. I saw a fucking whale! Almost caught a fish.



Peep the colors!

Spotted at Lagonia, the gigante market in the middle of mexico city where they sell ev-er-ry-thing. Little man was striaght chillin in his cage. I don't know if he was for sale but I haggled for like an hour and got nowhere because, no hablo espanol. So, I put on my lucha libre mask, went back and liberated the little motherfucker. Viva la revolucion!



As it turns out, they have computers in mexico. YES! Not oly that but they have donkeys. These little guys were found at the top of the acient pyramid in Puebla where there's a crazy colonial church. But this isn't justalittleiglesia, so....PICS!

Burro uno. Se llama Pablo. He's got two of his little friends with him. By this point I was so winded from climbing the fucking thing that I nearly missed this little gem of a little guy.

Look he's traveling with his friends.

This one's got a costume on. And yes that is a functional yoke. He is a hard working no bullshit kind of burro. And he's traveling alone.

Que bonita paise!



arriba. It's off to mexico for jalg solja #1 (that's my liscence plate). Just so they know I'm coming, I'm posting pictures of some of the local fauna. The idea is this, when they google themselves (vanity search, I believe it's called), they'll see that they're here on jalg, read the text, laugh, feel dirty, then realize that I'm coming to mexico. Duh.

Guadelupe Fur seals. Basking in the sun. Watch out guys, I get to the beach early and I take the best spots. I'm the kind of person that goes through the trouble of slowly rotating his chaise lounge throughout the day.
That's right, bright eyes. Suntan lotion IS for pussies.

Wha-wha-what's this. Tapir. I fucking love this dude and it turns out the lives in mexico. I sent him an email but I think it's an old address. He's kind of a flake though so, maybe he's just not getting back to me. I wonoder what he's up to.
That nose (or should I say snout) is driving me super-bonkers right now.

And ringtail. You look great today buddy. Can't wiat to see ya. You got a cell down there? We'll hit up zona rosa and drink some sangritas.
Tomorrow buddy.

Hasta tarde.
See you in diez días.